Marco Blanco

Marco Blanco is a damn fool. Sometimes, I build a slight Victorian templehouse and draw pictures of him on the walls with spray paint. Then, I get arrested for vandalism, but the police realize I was insulting Marco Blanco and they let me go, with no more than a quick spank, which I like. If I was anything other than a man, I'd probably cut off his feet and cook them in my rabbit stew. Then there would be no more Marco Blanco, for his essence exists solely within his hapless feet, and the world would be right again.

Before Ascension
No records of Blanco exist before his opening of a tavern, for it was required by city law to register with the Association of Taverns. Supposedly, he emerged everday, soaked in bodily oil and seemed to weave alcohol from the tankards like some magical being, able to summon it as a priest would the word of God.

Records do exist of an unoiled Marco Blanco sailing through the skies on a wave of masculinity, surfing through landslides and cities alike, kidnapping strapping young men and then locking them away in his tavern.

After Ascension
Scriptures exist more heavily after an event where Marco Blanco and Leopald von SCHÖNBURG had a small confrontation at a Christmas party. It is said that the oiled pecs of Marco Blanco were able to absorb energy and then release it as a rainbow of powerful light. Furthermore, he was able to sail through the air, throwing Leopald around like a ragdoll before Leopald took a partygoer and spun her head so fast that her limbs ripped off due to the centripetal force.

It is said that Marco's oil stains have been found in the Guardian of Darkness's temple, alongside a sandwich, where a hapless hopeful follower of the Guardian of Darkness was summarily choked to death, and had his intestines and spine ripped out before a challenge to the guardian went unanswered.

The last known tale of Marco is another occurance with Leopald where his body became a singularity of vibration and proceeded to completely violate the Guardian's anus. With such an intense frequency at point of entry, the Cuban titan of masculinity ended up fusing with the soul of Leopald. Though he has no corporeal form, he lives on in the asshole of Leopald.